It’s no secret that social media has become a big part of growing up in today’s world, but as a parent, figuring out when to let your child join the online world can feel tricky. You want them to stay connected with friends and not feel left out, while also keeping them safe and protecting their well-being.
Social media has many benefits – increased opportunities for social connection, access to learning, and endless entertainment – but it also comes with a cost. Research suggests that excessive social media use increases the risk of negative mental health outcomes in children, including anxiety and depression. It can also negatively impact sleep, contribute to poor body image, eating disorders, and more. The truth is, there’s no magic age that works for every child, just a thoughtful balance between maturity, responsibility, and guidance. Here’s what to consider before saying “yes” to that first account.
What are the recommended social media age limits?
The general guideline across the board is that children shouldn’t be on social media until they are at least 13 years old. In fact, most major social media platforms require users to provide a birth date and be at least 13 to create an account. However, most platforms also have no way of validating a user’s age, so it’s possible (and easy) for kids to access social media at any age. Here are the age requirements for each platform:
YouTube: Users must be at least 13 years old unless a parent or guardian has enabled it.
TikTok: While the app is listed as 12+ on the app store and users must provide a birthdate when registering, kids under 13 can still sign up and use TikTok. The app has no official minimum age. Instead, TikTok states it offers a curated experience with additional safeguards and age-appropriate and time limits for young users.
Instagram: Users must be at least 13 years old. Additionally, users between the ages of 13 and 17 are automatically set to a Teen Account, which limits content and unwanted contact. Parents can also set up their own account to “supervise” a child’s account, allowing them to set up limits and other guardrails.
Snapchat: Users must be at least 13 years old. Accounts belonging to users between 13 and 17 have extra protections, and accounts found to belong to younger users are automatically closed.
Facebook: Users must be at least 13 years old to sign up, and only some regions require age verification.
BeReal: Users must be at least 13 years old, and the platform does not offer parental controls.
X (Twitter): Users must be at least 13 years old.
Reddit: Users must be at least 13 years old.
Discord: Users in the United States must be at least 13 years old. The minimum age in many other countries is higher.
Twitch: Users must be at least 13 years old.
It’s worth noting that the 13-year age minimum is based on the 1998 Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA), which specifies that data can’t be collected or shared from children under 13 without parental permission. The cutoff is a legal compromise and has nothing to do with whether or not your child is actually ready for the internet.
Is your child ready for social media?
Navigating the social landscape during the tween and teen years is already stressful; adding social media into the mix can crank up the intensity.
Kids who start using social media too early are at increased risk of online harassment. Because they are so young, they are more likely to be taken in by misinformation or to pick up negative habits like cyberbullying. Social media is also shown to impact mental health, increasing depression and anxiety, especially in girls. Perhaps worst of all, excessive social media use can adversely affect the relationship between parents and kids during a crucial developmental period. The question is, how young is too young? When are kids ready to wade into the social media kiddie pool?
While the officially recommended age is 13, that’s really just a minimum guideline. Studies have shown some statistical differences along gender lines. Girls tend to be more negatively impacted by social media between the ages of 11 and 13, while boys are most at risk from 14 to 15. The reality is that every kid is different, and parents should decide when to allow social media, based on each child’s maturity and level of development.
Should kids under 13 have social media?
While we often talk about sites like YouTube and TikTok in the same breath, they are vastly different in terms of content and user engagement. Not two social media platforms are the same, and your child may not be ready for them all at once.
Even two different video platforms, like YouTube and TikTok, have very different interfaces and may offer your child different types of content. Research has shown that if you elect to start social media at younger ages it’s best to co-use screen time with your child. The advantages appear to stem from caregiver support to help children learn a new skill, problem solve, navigate emotions, build resilience, and teach self-regulation.
Generally speaking, kids shouldn’t be on social media before age 13 (and maybe not even then), but you can and should make smart decisions about how and when your family engages with different platforms. With reasonable guardrails and parental supervision, some social media sites may be appropriate for younger kids.
Why should parents monitor social media?
Teenagers are going through a critical developmental period that continues into adulthood. The reward center of the brain is firing on all cylinders, seeking reinforcement, while the frontal lobe develops more slowly and continues to develop until about age 25. The teenage brain is greedily seeking sensation and validation, but it isn’t so good at understanding risk or long-term consequences. That’s why parents need to step in to fill the emotional gap.
Monitoring your child’s social media use can be useful, but it should only be one part of a more comprehensive internet safety strategy, alongside time limits and open communication. Use this period of monitoring to teach your child these crucial internet skills, such as:
- What’s appropriate to post
- How to modify their feeds
- When, how, and why to block accounts
- How to identify signs of misinformation
- What to do if they are contacted by someone they don’t know
- What to do if they’re asked to share private information or content
Supervising your child’s online activities means you can step in if your kid wanders off the trail into murky digital waters. It also makes you more aware of:
- Cyberbullying: You can help protect them from cyberbullying, which is common and can have a negative impact on your child’s self-esteem. Your child’s peers may gossip or post embarrassing things about them online. You can’t control what other people post, but you can control how much your child is exposed to it and prepare them to deal with it in the future.
- Digital Footprint: You can pay attention to what your child is posting. Talk to them about their digital footprint and let them know that once something is on the internet, it could be there forever. Things they post as a child or teen could come back to haunt them later in life.
- Addictive Behavior: You can keep an eye out for how much time they are spending on social media platforms. Is social media interfering with school, sleep, or other activities? Do they choose social media over real-world interactions? Do they have strong cravings to use social media, or do they sneak around to use it? If you see warning signs of addictive behavior or social media use starts negatively impacting other aspects of your child’s life, it’s time to step in.
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